Secret Tea Party…

So my Mom is crazy about tea parties. Having three girls she hosted her fair share for us. We use to love them. One time my youngest sister Jamie (probably around 4/5 at the time) put pretzel sticks up her nose. (I’ll never forget that) They were always a so much fun. Because anytime we’re all together we laugh way too much. So let me tell you how we surprised her with a secret tea party for Mother’s Day.
Well, my Mom and I went thrifting a couple months back. At every dang store, she would find part of a tea set and tell me about this time in Mississippi when she found a whole tea set and she should have bought it. Well after the first 3 stores, my wheels started spinning and I text both of my sisters. We planned on surprising her not only with a tea set for Mother’s Day but also with a tea party.
Whew… can I just say I never realized the work that goes into a good tea party? Oh, man, I worked and stressed for two months at her party. I’m a perfectionist and a mad do it yourself-er and I wanted to go all out. After all, the three of us were quite a handful.
My sisters: Courtney, is an LPN (2nd shift) and a dog Mom of two. Jamie, is a college student, works at a State Park, and is a dog Mom too. Cassi (is technically not my sister, but fingers crossed Dillon’s brother marries her one day and it can be official) She is a college student, works at the college, and we have adopted her into our family.
I did all the DIY and crafty stuff and cooking. Courtney and I did most of the planning and I put Jamie and Cassi to work day of setting up.
For her party, we did a lunch: of egg salad tea sandwiches, bite-size BLTs, cucumber with herbed cream cheese, bacon ranch pinwheels, cheese ball bites, grapes and cheese. For dessert: little cakes, French macarons, Oreo truffles, lemon scones, strawberry mousse. For drinks: ice water, hot tea in lots of flavors, and adult punch.
We played Never have I ever, and a what’s in your phone game. We took photos and had us a grand time in our dresses. (They were required)

I tried to have a well-rounded menu. There was 8 of us total and let me tell you I should have made more egg salad sandwiches because they were gone quick.
We also got our cousin, her daughter and our Aunt (Mom’s sister), to come down it was kind of a surprise for her too. Mom did not know they were coming either. Ha! We got her so good. By the way, she was shocked and so excited when she finally caught on.
We told her we had special lunch reservations in Tulsa and when she opens the door to Courtney’s house she was in awe of everything. She still hasn’t stopped oohing and aahing over it. It was a major success.
I love throwing party’s and they normally look like Pinterest threw up. That is my go-to for inspiration and ideas. It’s probably a good idea because my Mom loved it so much she wants a new family tradition of Mother’s Day Tea. Which is fine with me as long as it’s not a secret.
I’m not good at keeping secrets and let me tell you I almost blew it a couple of time. One time I told her I was so stressed over Mother’s Day (Oops) she asked why and I told her it was because I had to take her to lunch. (I felt a little bad). I also had to lie about why I was asking about the egg salad recipe. Dillon doesn’t like it and of course, she remembered. (Oops)

Co-parenting…

As you all have probably put two and two together. Dillon is Logan’s Step Dad. Logan’s Father is very much in the picture. He and I have known each other for around 15 years. We met through a cousin of mine (they are still good friends). We were young and dumb and “dated” on and off long distance forever. I won’t go into the whole story because I’d be here all day and it’s all water under the bridge now. When we found out we were pregnant, I wasn’t near old enough at 18 and he only 19! We were scared yet excited. We ended up breaking up for a while then married when Logan was around 1.

We tried our hardest to make it work for Logan. In the end, I decided I wanted to raise Logan in a loving relationship (not that it was just ugly and awful between us) We just both agreed that separation was best for Logan. We had the easiest divorce (ugh, Y’all I hate that word) we split everything, we each paid half, we didn’t fight over who was getting Logan when we didn’t fight over child support. We both knew we are doing what is best for Logan.

I do not say mean, or awful things about Logan’s father to or around Logan. I’m NOT going to say that we get along 100% and agree on everything (because we don’t, who does?) But in the end our arguments die pretty quickly because we start to realize what is best for Logan.

We co-parent Logan, and he also understands that Dillon is also a big part of Logan’s life. He knows Logan has to respect Dillon, as I know Logan will have to respect anyone he has in his life because of his father. [too many times I’ve heard of parents trying to teach their kids to disrespect the step parents. That makes me so angry]

Also, Dillon is under the same understanding, Logan’s father is a part of his life. We both support any conversation that Logan wants to have about his father and half-brother. We all work with each other on dates, schedules, and holidays. Y’all our schedule is crazy and he works with us a lot. Meeting times and spots change regularly because of us moving around.

When logan played baseball this past summer. We didn’t have to tell him. Dillon and I paid for everything. We were the ones taking him to practices and games. BUT, Y’all should have seen Logan’s face when most of his family was there to cheer him on for his final game. I know it sucked to drive 3 hours away on Tuesdays or Thursday to come watch him play, yet he did it regularly. Because it was best for Logan! [if you cant tell we are a goofy bunch]

Logan has a half-brother, from his father’s side. One day he’s going to want to spend the night with Logan (with us) or go with us where ever Logan is going. It wouldn’t bother us one bit to have him with us (his Mom probably wouldn’t allow it but, that I can’t change) it’s what is best for Logan. He is his brother after all.

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Logan had a big birthday party this year and we worked together to make sure Logan’s Dad and his brother could come. Again It made the whole day better for Logan! (Look at Logan help him with the pinata)

I have one friend that is also able to have this relationship with her kid’s dads. (We met after both of her ex-husbands, yet I know both of them and they know me)

So my question is why? Why can so many parents not see this? Why do most step-parents want to cause friction? Why do so many parents spend thousands of dollars in court to fight? Why can’t they choose what’s best for their child?